I Have Some Notes

You've heard us talk about fixing a lot of movies, how about our own movie pitches? We've got great ideas, but Hollywood isn't returning our calls, so now we're giving them away for free! Returning guest Robyn Slack of the Quantum Kickflip podcast joins us to pitch some wholly original movies, except the ones that are pitches for existing properties…then they're just mostly original.

Robot Jox spent its budget on some cutting-edge special effects for 1989, and not much else. While the giant mechs looked great, the robot choreography itself was a bit dull. But that aside we found plenty of other easy wins to punch up this B-movie classic.

Olav Rokne (of the Hugo Book Club Blog fame) returns for this sci-fi romp! He lends his insights into the genre as well as sharing stories about one of the screenwriters, who he knows personally. 

A classic 80s character is stripped apart and rebuilt by the modern-day Hollywood machine. Robocop may not have been the most cynical of reboot cash grabs, but it certainly missed many of the opportunities it set up for itself.

That's where we jump in to reprogram some of the film's themes and attempt to add some contemporary pathos to a script ironically lacking humanity.

If you grew up in the 90s Adam Sandler probably had a large influence on your sense of humour. He likely did not have a large influence on you as an eventual parent, however. While Big Daddy was certainly a more "mature" turn for Sandler at the time, his childish instincts prevented it from being a really touching comedy about fatherhood.

Speaking of fatherhood, German Villegas of the Modern Manhood podcast joins us this week. The entire upcoming season of Modern Manhood is all about child development, which put Big Daddy right in German's big damn wheelhouse. Together we try to add some stronger comedic structure to the film while also analyzing Sonny Kaufax's style as a father.

Highlander II was so efficient at burning the goodwill of its fanbase George Lucas took it as a personal challenge, and that's how we got The Phantom Menace. We're not exactly Hollywood historians around here, but we're pretty sure that's how it went down.

For some reason, the minds behind Highlander thought the best way to continue the story of a 500-year-old sword-fighting immortal with a rich background, not even Forrest Gump could hold a bucket of shrimp up to by making him an alien who's charged with fixing the ozone layer. Yeah…

Suffice it to say we had a lot of gripes with Connor MacLeod's second appearance on the silver screen, but the fixes were a bit difficult. Thankfully Glenna Schowalter of the Quantum Kickflip podcast returns to lend us a head. Get it?

We're diving back into the MCU once again for Marvel's Studios The Eternals, a film rich in characters and short on development. The Note-ernals take passes at spreading the dense plot out over two films as well as dropping an entire sub-plot to make a more breathable single film. We also find an interesting twist on the main villain that would have been far more thematically relevant.

One good asteroid movie deserves another, we always say. For the second time in a row, we're tackling a planet-killing plot device, this time of the Michael Bay variety. Truly there was one simple fix to this oil-riggers-in-space fantasy, and we happened upon it quite quickly. However, we do spend a great deal of time taking shots at Michael, even as Liam is trying to get us to talk about what we liked about the movie.

Not since our Interstellar episode have we spent more time praising a film than giving it notes. Don't Look Up may have been polarizing with audiences, but for the hosts of this show, it was a unanimous thumbs-up. We may have only found a few things to tweak, but that didn't stop us from having a lively discussion about what the film wanted to accomplish and why.

This was a fun one, enjoy!

We typically use our last show in December to sum up the best and worst movies of the year. However, we skipped the tradition last year and, thanks to a certain mutating virus, haven't been able to see all the films we would have liked in 2021. So instead we decided to talk about our favourites and least favourites of the pandemics era. Also, we spend about 20 minutes complaining about a Spider-man movie we haven't seen yet. That's a thing that happened.

Thanks for sticking with us another year, armchair screenwriters, we'll see you again in January!

Love Actually is every kind of romantic comedy you want it to be. It’s got star-crossed lovers, it’s got love triangles and it’s even got your classic 90s style sex romp. Anita Bourgeois of The Read-Along joins us to sift through an actual plethora of love stories in an attempt to fix them all.